I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it!

It’s a very sad time in reality tv land… The Bad Girls Club is over!! You have no idea how deeply sad I am that such an immensely entertaining show is over. Watching those bad girls fight over everything seemingly possible would truly make my week. I hope to do a season recap in their honor sometime soon.

On to more exciting and uplifting news… there are a bunch of new reality tv shows that will be debuting very soon!

1. The Cougar: a show on Tv Land whose premise is about Stacey, a 40 year old mother of four from Arizona, who is choosing to break dating as well as female stereotypes by seeking to date men who are significantly younger than her. You know, young hotties with six packs and highlights.
staceyandersonfinalhires_1The Cougar herself…

Prediction: Tons of awkward moments of immaturity. Daily comments about how much they want to “bone” her. Constantly referring to her as a “cougar”. Some bromance most likely.

Preview: “Because in the end only one young man will prove himself worthy to be with the cougar

2. Daisy of Love: Yet another dating show on VH1 starring Daisy de la Hoya( who is supposedly Oscar de la Hoya’s niece or something) from Rock of Love 2. She’s on a search for love once again,after being dumped by hair extension fanatic Bret Micheals. She must be sooo psyched to be on tv for just a little while longer.
daisy-de-la-hoya-myspace-racy-photos-33Who brought the fog machine?

Prediction: THIS IS GONNA BE FUCKIN AMAZING. Tons of drunk bros who listen to Linkin Park and Staind. Some skinny dudes wearing makeup who wish they were in Poison. Tons of head banging. Boobs Boobs Boobs. Booze Booze Booze.

Preview: Soooo I couldn’t figure out how to insert a VH1 preview so you will have to settle for this youtube video which shows you all the dudes! As well as the names they’ve been given by Daisy! My favorite guy is Torch because seriously it looks like he’s on fire.

3. The Real Housewives of New Jersey: If you’ve seen any of the Real Housewives series than you already know what this is about. If you haven’t, New Fuckin Jersey. Just watch it, okay!
njhousewives31809Jersey’s never looked so good.

Prediction: A lot of hand gesturing. Tons of hair spray. Six Flags. New girl is shunned and called a whore. Shopping, tanning, waxing, french tip manicures. Family always comes first.

Preview: ” She was involved with kidnapping… Colombian cartel…” Also, I feel like the fact that this video is so poorly made reflects on what kind of show this is going to be.

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(Only)Kiss Me Thru The Phone

It’s been a while… BUT I’M BACK!

I’m sorry I’ve been absent for such an extended period of time but I’ve just been really busy doing nothing. Well, you know I have been doing things… but nothing as gratifying as writing about nonsense on this blog. On a side note, It is really weird to be speaking to an imaginary audience. Meaning, it is weird to apologize to “you” when “you” is probably no one. Therefore I will pretend “you” is my blog. As in my blog has feelings that can be hurt by my writing neglect.

During my last post I stated that I would be doing a lot of TV blogging in the near future but I’m postponing that for now. There is a much more serious topic that I feel I need to talk about: SEXTING(sex texting)

So, I was watching The Tyra Banks Show sometime last week because there was nothing better on( seriously, I do not like that show. ANTM I can handle but having to listen to Tyra talk about how great of a role model she is for a whole hour just makes me want to puke). The segment was about “sexting” which is supposedly some new phenomenon amoung teenagers. Basically sexting involves sending either nude pictures of yourself or explicit sexual messages via texting.
sext
The devil comes in all shapes and sizes.

Since watching this episode, sexting has become a fuckin craze! It is literally making parents, adults, and anyone who thinks they should have a say in this matter go fuckin nuts. Everyone is scared shitless that their teens too are “sexting”. It always amazes me when parents are shocked( or at least appear to be) that their kids are having sex or are exploring their sexuality. Furthermore, whenever parents are going mad about kids having sex I feel like a lot of the shame is put on young women. Most of the conversation surrounding sexting has been directed towards young girls. Even though I understand teen girls might be the ones who are largely participating in “sexting”, isn’t it worth examining what this supposedly new pheneomenon means for teens in general? Especially what it means for the healthy sexual development of all teens. The following(hilarious) video has been made by Brick House Security(who the hell is that?) as a preventative measure to educate people on the harm of sexting.

I think the best way to examine that video is by listing my top 5 moments.
5. “What does a 14 year old have to hide from their parents?” uhhhhh….EVERYTHING!
4. Sprint employee explaining text messaging “You actually have what most teenagers use is text messaging” C’mon he knows she knows what text messaging is. He might as well explain what facebook is. SHE KNOWS.
3.Dawn Tongish. Whattalastname.
2.The fact that they couldn’t even get the CEO of their lame company to make an apearance. Instead they had him call in which is creepy because he’s breathing hard.
1.GRANDMA IS WATCHING! “I would resort to snoopin, I certainly would.”

Bestest moment/even better than #1: Girl texting (possibly sexting) while cat is sitting on her lap( Hahahaha So I seriously thought that was a cat but it’s actually a dog on her lap! It always amazes me how having so many friends who are obsessed with cats rubs off on me)

Even though that video is pretty much hilarious, this whole sexting thing really does have many people incredibly upset. So upset that a group of teens in PA were being charged with child pornography because they allowed themselves to be photographed which is….bullshit. Thankfully, the judge has ruled in favor of the teens and is actually filing a restraining order against the district attorney who tried to charge them with child pornography in the first place.

All of this is such bullshit. I understand why sending naked pictures of yourself via text may not be the best idea but it seems like to me that the real reason everyone is so upset is because young girls are being so explicit about their sexuality in general. The reason why girls feel compelled to “sext” largely varies and because of that very reason we cannot make large assumptions that this is in fact harmful for teens. I know that as women we are constantly made to feel corporeal, meaning we are always made to feel constrained to our anatomy/bodies. This leads to the development of specific gender roles that are designated to us simply because of our anatomy such as mother/nurturer or even to the way women’s bodies are commodified and exploited for financial gain. Anywho, I’m not attempting to find a solution to this sexting epidemic because I actually dont believe it’s a problem at all. I think sexuality and sexual expression(s) are incredibly diverse and compliacted. Especially teen sexuality which is often confusing, scary, and plain awkward. Basically, I just find it fuckin annoying that everyone refuses to actually engage in real, honest conversations about this but then again when do real, honest anything happen in the media.

I really hope this whole “sexting” craze dies down. I hope they discover something else new and disturbing about teens. This reminds me that I have to watch Gossip Girl this monday. I missed it last week and hated myself forever for doing so. I’ll end this post with a video very much related to the topic of sexting. Soulja Boy gives sexting crazed teens a lesson in phone etiquette: Kissing is allowed but crotch shots are not.

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Baby monitors, top models, and Chuck Bass

Keeping up with this blog is kind of hard. As in I forget it exists. But then I remember and I get excited that I have a place where I can rant about some pretty important things in my life. Some serious TV blogging is coming up in the next few posts so get reaady.

Before I get into TV awesomeness…I saw a spanish film tonight called The Baby’s Room(La Habitacion del Nino) which scared the crap outta me. Seriously, I don’t know if I just haven’t seen a scary movie in a while but I was literally hiding inside my hoodie sweatshirt. The movie did not seem to be scary when my friends and I first read the synopsis provided. The synopsis basically went something like this: ” Hey, guess what? There is this couple and they move into this house and they have a baby and shit happens. Yeah, spooky” I don’t know who wrote the synopsis for the movie but they must have been having a bad day and wrote it while they were getting drunk. After reading that synopsis I was completely ready to laugh, mock, and just overall have a good time with friends. But oh was I wrong! I don’t know what it is about people from Spain but they make horrible movies! Sorry to make such an essentialist claim but it is true. I mean they are beautifully made films but they make me want to yell and cry and forget movies even exist.

Another example of a movie which caused irreparable damage to my soul is The Orphange. Worst time ever. So, getting back to the other movie which destroyed my life. The movie is about this newly married couple who just moved to an old(creepy) house with their newborn baby. Of course everything is perfect and dandy until the father’s sister brings them a box of all this old baby stuff that she’s handing down to them. Of course the mother is immediately angry at her sister in-law because well they’re suppose to hate each other right? I don’t know but the whole passive aggressive bitchy scene between them reminded me of all interactions my mom and aunt have. In the box of hand me downs is a baby monitor which the dad is like “Uhhh…wha is dis??”( Well he doesn’t exactly say that but trust me what he did say sounds equally as dumb in Spanish. What father doesn’t know what a baby monitor is? Not even, what kind of normal person has never heard of a baby monitor??Unless you’re a baby of course. Maybe I’m just overestimating dude’s capabilities of being you know like smart).
baby monitor What is this for again??

I’m not gonna go into the rest of the movie because I honestly rather not think about it anymore. So, instead I’m going to talk about another horror story: Top Model Riots!!

I was briefly watching Channel 11 news because I was waiting for Sex and The City to come back from commercial when I heard two startling headlines for the top news stories of the night. Basically….there was a huge riot in nyc the other day(unless I’m waaay behind on hearing this news story) during an America’s Next Top Model open casting call. WHOA. I know none of them were there to make friends but geeeeez. Just watching the video makes me super anxious and uncomfortable. Just seeing that big of a crowd makes me feel uneasy. I totally get how meeting Tyra can make you go bananas but get a hold of yourself girls! No reality show is worth getting stomped on. You also don’t want to risk ruining your pretty faces a.k.a money maker. I guess I just underestimated how much these girls really want to be on top. Literally, they want to start a stampede and walk all over the bitches they’re competing against. Watch the following video closely and get ready to squirm:
I wonder what Tyra thinks of all this…

I really need to start watching ANTM. Now that The Bad Girls Club is ending I need something to get me through the week. Who am I kidding, Gossip Girl has started up again and that’s all I really need. I just name dropped so many TV shows I watch. Don’t judge me.

The other news story tonight was about a restaurant called Winter, in the UES, that’s giving out free meals to any women who come in dressed in school girl uniforms as a tribute of sorts to Gossip GirI,which recently filmed there. I was so excited when I heard this story because I love anything Gossip Girl related but also because I love anything free stuff related. Yet I feel like they should give out free meals to anyone who comes dressed up as any GG character. As much as I love free meals there is no way I’m wearing my old catholic school uniform ever again. I would have totally gone dressed up as Chuck Bass though. I kind of dress like him anyways…if he frequented thrift stores and sometimes wore the same thing for almost two weeks.

Anywho, I really love the show and actually don’t think it’s ruining teenagers or whatever. I mean yes it’s portraying rich UES kids who have nothing else to worry about besides high school drama but besides the lack of class analysis in the show it’s actually pretty right on. I don’t mind shows about teenagers having sex because well teenagers do have sex. Maybe the sex scenes should be a bit more awkward though. Just to be realistic, ya know. So, in conclusion I would go to that restaurant for a free meal if they would let me wear a bow tie instead of a plaid skirt.
I could wear a plaid vest.

I am starting to feel super sleepy but I am also very scared to go to sleep. I am now scared of baby monitors for life.

I haven’t even written half of what I intended to so think of this as a Part 1 of a much longer post on amazing television shows. Oh btw, The L Word ended and lesbians still inhabit the earth. Are you as relieved as I am? I am actually not that relieved…lesbians are annoying. Geez, now that I’m remembering the last episode of that show I’m starting to get super annoyed. That Bette and Tina scene when they were just embracing while Sade was playing was so gay. So so gay. Gay and wack. Gack. Gwack….it was lame basically. Gay Lame. Glame. I need to stop this.

I wish I could get paid for writing in this shitty blog.

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Punks Do It Better

So, I googled riot grrrl punk and I got this picture:

I don’t really recall an all baby fronted riot grrrl band but I do tend to forget things. This baby has probably had many a night covered in sweat and beer…I felt weird even writing that sentence. I feel weird even having a picture of a baby on this blog.

I’ve been wanting to go to a show lately. Like really badly. I feel like whenever I feel myself getting in a bad mood I begin to yearn for loud music, sweaty bodies, and beerz. I also like getting thrown around and pushing people for no reason other than because I can. Punk makes me so nostalgic which is freakin crazy because it’s not like those years are so behind me that I can really afford to do that. It also makes me feel super anxious and kind of sad that I’ve never started a band. Too bad I never continued learning how to play guitar. Guitar was never my thing though. I always wanted to play the drums. I remember even asking my guitar teacher if he could secretly teach me how to play the drums instead of guitar. But my mom never thought playing the drums was ladylike or whatever so that never happened. All I can do now is dream I guess. Dream of a drum set. Or get off my lazy ass and actually learn how to play. I could do that also.

I was gonna write a post on more Mariah but I feel like maybe I need to cut back on how often I bring her up both in this blog and in my daily interactions.It’s hard though I must say. I think about her constantly. Like just now I’ve been going back and forth from listening to riot grrrl music and Mariah songs. I wonder what a mashup of “Reject All American” and “Dreamlover” would sound like. Amazing probably. Or like shit. Either way I’m all about it.

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Buy U A Drank

Really. I really,really need a drink. Or something else to mellow me out. After a hectic, amazing, inspiring day of protesting and resisting I need some help to try to relax. I’m trying my best to chill out and watch some tv but my mind is thinking about where we need to go from here. Anyways, I saw a lady today in an entire crocodile skin outfit and was both disgusted and impressed.

In related news, Jon Gosselin, the dad from the TLC show Jon & Kate Plus 8 went out drinking recently according to this week’s issue of Star magazine.
Ready to pawty…

I don’t read Star normally but I just happened to stumble upon this bit of slightly disturbing info. The disturbing part is not that Jon went out drinking. Being a parent doesn’t and shouldn’t absolve you from buying a drank but what makes this story very strange is that he went to a college party. A women’s volleyball team party. According to the article, he was “dirty dancing” with girls at the party and making moves on them. I can’t say that my interest in this story is entirely based on Jon’s act of infidelity because well I don’t really think Kate likes him so much ( have you ever seen the show? she hates him) but rather on the amazing randomness that he would show up at a party filled with drunken college students. It’s like John Stamos walking into some queer dance party in Brooklyn. Right? Maybe not but I still can’t get over his choice of party. Maybe he was thinking he should go to a place where he would be least likely to be recognized and therefore making cheating on his wife much easier to get away with. It’s not like he could go to some lame middle class hetero pick up spot,right? Those lameos would recognize him in an instant. The truth is that this is probably some made up story. But whoever made it up is a fuckin genius.

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Real street fighters make sure not to lose their purse

When you think Street Fighter you most likely will think of this:

Street Fighter was/is an amazing game that I use to play all the time when I was little. I was always that ugly green monster with orange hair. Even when I was young I did not want to be the hot girl with the super long pigtails and school girl outfit. Too predictable and lame, ya know? Anywhoo, I use to go to the laundromat all the time when I was little to play the Street Fighter arcade game with other random neighborhood kids. I would almost always lose of course because I’ve never been very good at video games even though I fairly enjoy them. I just lose any kind of social decency when I’m playing a video game. Seriously, I completely curse out a poor inanimate object who is really at no fault whatsoever. I’ve probably hurt many arcade games’ feelings.

My love for Street Fighter has obviously diminished because you know I’m not a loser anymore but I have managed to take the spirit of the game with me into adulthood. My love for the game has manifested itself into a new love for the show ‘The Bad Girls Club’. I know what you’re thinking. How does Street Fighter relate to a thrashy show about promiscuous, loud, angry women? The following clip should answer that question:

Tiffany is repping Chi-town(which at first I thought was spelled Shy-town) all the way. Which made me wonder if Obama has ever climbed on top of a limo and yelled “Chi-town, bitch!”. I sure hope so and I hope a video of it leaks onto the internet sometime soon.

So, yeah this show is my new one and only. Well, not really because I watch almost all reality shows even the really really bad ones. I don’t watch The Bachelor though. That shit’s boring as hell. The girls of The Bad Girls Club are not ones to be messed with. Especially if they are drunk. They will fuck you up fo sho. As long as their purses are in a safe location that is. Now that I think about it, these girls are super protective over their purses. I’m thinking about a couple episodes after the clip shown above where the new girl that comes into the house, Ashley, turns over a table at a club and yells like a maniac because she can’t find her purse. I guess I can’t really understand this attachment they have to their purses since I never carry one. I just couldn’t imagine being that attached to my messenger bag. But I guess that’s because it’s a $10 messenger bag.

What I’m really trying to get at is that the street fighters of today do not wear school girl outfits when they are kicking your ass…wait, I guess they could be. I can’t really assume The BGC girls won’t beat a bitch down in a plaid miniskirt. Hmmm I know there was a point to this but I am running on a weeks lack of sleep so I’m gonna give up trying to remember. I guess when it comes down to it, what I’m trying to say is that I now prefer my street fighters to wear stilettos, fake eyelashes, and a hair weave. Hold up…I think I just came full circle. I now love that which I hated when I was little. Whoaaa, revelation!

I hope this entry makes some sense…

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Remember this movie?

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I suuure do. This use to be my best friend’s favorite movie and for a long time I would mock her about it. Then i watched it and realized it was amaazing. Burt is a funny guy. And according to a Filipino lady I met this past Saturday…a pretty sexy guy as well. I don’t know if he’s sexy but his mustache won me over.

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